(This piece is an excerpt from the book: GODLY COUNSELS FOR SINGLE LADIES ON SEXUAL MATTERS. To order for a copy, send an email to lifeoasis@hotmail.com.)
In a relationship, you can only know yourself because people can be deceptive. Sly, pretence, cover-up are part and parcel of the human nature that is not redeemed by the blood of the Lamb. That is why you must depend on the Holy Spirit to guide you and also relate with men that are led and controlled by the Holy Spirit.
Don’t go after your desire or emotions; go after God - His direction, His principles and ways - and you won’t fall into wrong hands.
Listed below are some of the characteristics of a joker, someone who is not looking for a serious relationship with you but only wants fun and leaves you when he’s done! You must not be found with such people.
1. He is free with your body: Touches you anywhere and everywhere possible, has no respect for the marriage covenant, can lay you for sex anywhere.
2. He is free with your things. With boldface he opens your bag/purse to take money, phone, valuable things in your room etc.
3. He doesn’t declare his assets to you. You don’t know what he has and all he has.
4. He doesn’t reveal all his movements to you. You only find out and some you never find out where he went and with whom.
5. He has some private phone numbers you don’t know and sometimes his line doesn’t go through, while other people he rates important can get him through other lines.
6. He has close relationships you don’t know about – family and friends.
7. He never talks about marriage and if you do, that belongs to the F-U-T-U-R-E to him! You are now 33 and you’ve been engaged to him for 10years - since you were 23 - and he is still not talking about marriage!
8. He is always futuristic in his plans with you. Never talks of what you both can do now.
9. He makes critical plans alone and tells you not to bother. His decisions on issues do not carry you along. Not enthusiastic about joint operations with you.
10. He tactically withdraws from your own family getting involved with him.
11. He always talks of you helping him and not vice versa.
12. He doesn’t want the Pastor to be involved; he doesn’t want to be accountable. He avoids anything binding on him. He is never committed.
13. He doesn’t talk openly about your relationship to people everywhere. Your pictures are not displayed, his family doesn’t know you that much. He never introduces you to his parents and siblings as the one he wants to marry! He calls you a colleague, friend or course mate, etc.
14. He relates with the opposite sex as a free man that is still available.
15. When you think he loves you and he sleeps with you and you get pregnant, he either disowns the pregnancy, telling you he’s not sure he is the only one visiting your “holy sanctuary”, or he quickly suggests abortion!
Exhibit caution as a single lady and you’ll be safe.
- Don’t take regular free ride with a man.
- Don’t dress for him.
- Don’t receive and give undefined gifts.
- Don’t go into excessive discussions with him.
- Don’t become free to touch or to be touched.
- Don’t visit a man alone in his house or room, let alone S-L-E-E-P there!
- Don’t sleep where men are hanging around.
A joker will waste your time, waste your emotions, waste your resources, waste your commitment and waste your purpose and essence for living. A joker will join you to a strange destiny. Get yourself preserved.
Go for a man that will hook you to destiny like Mary and Joseph, Elizabeth and Zechariah, Ruth and Boaz, not one that will lustfully enjoy and waste the cream of your womanhood as Shechem did for Dinah (Gen. 34:1-2) and bring you under a curse, cutting you off from a godly heritage.
May you follow the right person into destiny in Jesus’ Name. Amen.
Don’t go after your desire or emotions; go after God - His direction, His principles and ways - and you won’t fall into wrong hands.
Listed below are some of the characteristics of a joker, someone who is not looking for a serious relationship with you but only wants fun and leaves you when he’s done! You must not be found with such people.
1. He is free with your body: Touches you anywhere and everywhere possible, has no respect for the marriage covenant, can lay you for sex anywhere.
2. He is free with your things. With boldface he opens your bag/purse to take money, phone, valuable things in your room etc.
3. He doesn’t declare his assets to you. You don’t know what he has and all he has.
4. He doesn’t reveal all his movements to you. You only find out and some you never find out where he went and with whom.
5. He has some private phone numbers you don’t know and sometimes his line doesn’t go through, while other people he rates important can get him through other lines.
6. He has close relationships you don’t know about – family and friends.
7. He never talks about marriage and if you do, that belongs to the F-U-T-U-R-E to him! You are now 33 and you’ve been engaged to him for 10years - since you were 23 - and he is still not talking about marriage!
8. He is always futuristic in his plans with you. Never talks of what you both can do now.
9. He makes critical plans alone and tells you not to bother. His decisions on issues do not carry you along. Not enthusiastic about joint operations with you.
10. He tactically withdraws from your own family getting involved with him.
11. He always talks of you helping him and not vice versa.
12. He doesn’t want the Pastor to be involved; he doesn’t want to be accountable. He avoids anything binding on him. He is never committed.
13. He doesn’t talk openly about your relationship to people everywhere. Your pictures are not displayed, his family doesn’t know you that much. He never introduces you to his parents and siblings as the one he wants to marry! He calls you a colleague, friend or course mate, etc.
14. He relates with the opposite sex as a free man that is still available.
15. When you think he loves you and he sleeps with you and you get pregnant, he either disowns the pregnancy, telling you he’s not sure he is the only one visiting your “holy sanctuary”, or he quickly suggests abortion!
Exhibit caution as a single lady and you’ll be safe.
- Don’t take regular free ride with a man.
- Don’t dress for him.
- Don’t receive and give undefined gifts.
- Don’t go into excessive discussions with him.
- Don’t become free to touch or to be touched.
- Don’t visit a man alone in his house or room, let alone S-L-E-E-P there!
- Don’t sleep where men are hanging around.
A joker will waste your time, waste your emotions, waste your resources, waste your commitment and waste your purpose and essence for living. A joker will join you to a strange destiny. Get yourself preserved.
Go for a man that will hook you to destiny like Mary and Joseph, Elizabeth and Zechariah, Ruth and Boaz, not one that will lustfully enjoy and waste the cream of your womanhood as Shechem did for Dinah (Gen. 34:1-2) and bring you under a curse, cutting you off from a godly heritage.
May you follow the right person into destiny in Jesus’ Name. Amen.
